In just two weeks! And he was doing so well, I thought he for sure he was going to be a poster child for this vaccine. So we took chest x rays to make sure the cancer hasn't spread yet and then they didn't give him the last vaccine. Now we have to decide if we do surgery to cut the new cancer out which would only buy us maybe a couple weeks more, or do we just let things take their course.
Paul and I are adamant that we want Toby to have as much quality of life as possible and enjoy every minute, so right now we are leaning toward not getting the surgery. Because of where the cancer is, they can't cut it all out and it would just come right back and then he would have had surgery and pain and stress and be at the same place we are at now. I would rather that he have happy weeks left with us with less visits to the vet for him. He gets so stressed out every time we go.
But another part of me wants to shout, WAIT!!! no!! this can't be happening. I will do anything to keep him longer!! I feel like if I could do a deal with someone, anyone, please give us more time. I want more time!! But as my friend Carmi said, it will NEVER be enough time. If I get another year, I will need another year after that, I would take eternity if I could. That would be wonderful. But that's not how it works.
Right now we know where this road is leading, but we don't know how long the road is. We could have weeks. We could have 2-3 months. But we DO have tonight and we have tomorrow and next week so right now I am concentrating on that.
It is so hard for me to live in the present, I always live in the future, but this will be a life lesson for me, because I am going to try to be present every minute for Toby so I can enjoy every last second I have with him.
Everyday is precious!
I am so sorry to hear the results today, I was looking for a good report.
Enjoy all the little things and take photos everyday. Theres never enough photos. Spoil him with ALL your heart.Love him and let him go with as little pain as possible for him. I share your grief as i write this and i share your tears.
separation from those we love is the hardest thing we all have to face at some time or another...the reminder to live every precious moment in gratitude for the time we have with one another is one we can all benefit from...
what an amazing gift to have given and received the love you have with Toby... the glorious part of love of course is that it never dies, and your heart will only be a fuller, richer, deeper place for having been graced by this little life...
hugs of comfort sent out to you as you navigate through the decisions and the journey together through the next steps for Toby...
I know how much you care for and love animals and this news was not expected.
You, your husband, Toby and ALL your critters will be in my prayers.
Sending lots of love and some snuggles too (the snuggles are for Toby of course).
My thoughts and prayers are with you .
Our holistic vet had said all beings are born with a certain amount of chi, and Rosie's was waning...but I was going in for major surgery on Christmas eve and I didn't think I could handle loosing Rosie too....she stuck around and then on February 8th I thanked her and said if she needed to transition I would be OK, thanks to her watching over me- and the next day she passed..I think at the end, for pets that are our soul mates, like your dear Toby, it is OK to give them permission to leave...everyday is a gift -
Denise in Florida
My heart aches for you! I can not imagine how hard this decision was but you are brave to offer to your loving Toby peace and less stress. So know that you are in my prayers and that God never forsakes you!
so sorry to hear this news. I know the feeling and have been there only recently with my sweet orange tabby, Marvin. You are doing everything possible and Toby knows it - you are both (Toby and you both) lucky to have come into each others lives and enriched it beyond measure. I did a lot of writing about Marvin - it seemed to help get my feelings for him on paper and of course told him everyday how loved he is - which I am sure you are doing with Mr. T.
Best wishes through this process and know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers.
We lost our little Buddy dog almost two years ago and I'm tearing up just thinking about him and your Tobey and your ordeal. I agree that Tobey shouldn't have to go through any more stress. I agree with you that you should love him and let him love you for the last little bit of time you have with him. Just spoil him with all your love and you'll know what to do when the time comes. Thinking of you, your family, and little Tobey.
I have walked the path you are on right now many times. It never gets "easier" - just different. My heartfelt prayers are with you. Enjoy each day with your little guy - I firmly believe that pets are closer to God (or whatever you name that entity) than we humans. So your Toby is well loved and will be well cared for.
Treasure your days - cancer is an insidious disease. It doesn't care how many legs you have - just that it wants to be heard.
Wishing you peace.
Know that Toby is being thought of and prayed for and "all is well" at every moment.
A course in Miracles tells us, "It takes great learning to understand that all things, events, encounters and circumstances are helpful." Keep the faith.
Your love of Toby will enable him the quality of life he deserves. I'm pulling for him!
I wish Toby peaceful days and I'm sending you hugs.
Breath and Be well,
Jill from N.H.
My heart is breaking for you. I know how much Toby means to you. You treat your pets like your kids! Try to stay calm and enjoy every minute with him.
My goodness you two have had a trying year!
Love to you and I miss you!
There is one thing that I learned from my beloved pets, they can be great Masters. They're not afraid to live or to die, they live fully each moment. We have to remember and do the same.
Hugs for you guys
Like you said, hold him close for as long as you have him. I know that the grieving process takes so long - but you do have all those wonderful memories of little Toby.
I will pray for Toby. Miracles can happen.
we had a dog when i was in HS who had cancer in her mouth/nasal passages as well. we just gave her lots of love until she was uncomfortable. the vets gave her weeks and she was good for 8 months until we had to let her go. it sucked. i feel for you, makes me remember how hard it was for me back then. you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.